I've woken up with a feeling of unease for the past week or so. Or year? How long has it been? Not dread, not a huge ache, or not even sadness exactly. Just like something is slightly off, but only slightly. I don't like sleeping by myself. I feel like this makes me weak, my inability to be by myself. I used to be good at being by myself. Every moment of every day, I've felt like I need to be with someone. What am I trying to distract myself from?

I've learned tough lessons. Those people who feel so solid in your life will leave. Unexpected people may stick around. People will always be around if you let them, but they come and go. I don't feel lonely, exactly. Just like I need a solid figure in my life. I need to live with people I can laugh with. I miss that apartment, the apartment I lived in my junior year. I get nostalgic for that time, but I know that even then I was not content, I was just dealing with different problems.