My epiphany

Aaaahhh I just had such an epiphany and I think I always realized it, but right now it's just hitting me.

I know I'm always writing about my love life, or lack thereof, and I apologize for it, but it's my blog. And you'll listen, right????!!!!!!!

Haha anyway. I think that certain things had to happen this semester so that I would be fully ready to take off and do things far away from home in my future. I'm applying for this job teaching English at a camp in Italy, and I want to do Lasallian Volunteers, both of which will take me to far away places.

Now, I am realizing that part of the reason that I did not jump on the Barcelona stuff sooner (like making every effort/making it work SOMEHOW) was because I had certain distractions. If you know what I'm saying. Love (or whatever) makes me do things I wouldn't normally do, or rearrange and change my plans.

So now, here I am, wonderfully unattached and I think I'm gonna be QUITE ready to go to Italy/wherever LV sends me. And if somehow that relationship had held out all year and we went our seperate ways at that end of this coming semester, I think I would have been recovering for months and months, and I don't think my heart would be in this program in Italy/Lasallian Volunteers/both. So, it's good that it happened, and it's good that it happened when it did, although it's been hard to see that through the fog that was this past semester.

Also, who knows, if that relationship HAD held out, I would have been even further into it and less likely to leave. More likely to stay in Memphis/make decisions based on what someone else is doing, and now is the time for me to go my own way and do things for myself. I have lots of time for compromise and taking another person into account.