I have notebooks and notebooks, dating back to Freshman year of high school. These notebooks were mostly an outlet for these obsessive, intense crushes I'd have on various random boys. I can't say I've ever felt quite that strongly since high school, but I don't think I'd ever want to feel that way again. I think I've matured past that stage. Thank God. I still get that feeling, but it's not quite as destructive.

Speaking of, I went to mass the other day. It was nice, but mainly because of the person I was standing next to.

Anyway, these notebooks: they're mostly pretty plain and boring through high school. They start to get a little better by college, the focus expands to life and myself, as opposed to constant FEELINGS for a boy. Of course, I still write those FEELINGS, but instead of taking up 95% of the notebooks, they only take up about 40%. I hope this reflects my growth as a person, not just as a writer. I still keep notebooks, I haven't been writing as much lately.

There's something about writing it down, articulating it, that legitimizes my life. Sorting it out, organizing it, makes it all less overwhelming, I can make sense of it all. I see patterns, too, and can stop myself from making the same mistakes I made in the past (sometimes). It's not all just useful and necessary, sometimes it's just fun, mostly it's just fun to chronicle various progressions.