I don't know what it is about a blank page, or a blank Word document, but it feels so good to make it un-blank.

I'm sorry I've been lazy with this blog lately. I had so much energy at the beginning of the year, I was awake, i mean AWAKE-awake, about fifteen minutes after I got up. Now I'm sleepy until mid-afternoon.

You know how many processes, rituals, BIG things in life are so...dumb, unnecessary, meaningless? The expected stuff, the stuff you have to get through in order to get from point a to point b. School, for instance. I love it, but I also love other things. And some people don't love school. I'm not making sense. When did this blog become stream-of-consciousness?
What else can we do? Go through the motions. It makes you sleepy, you know? I feel like dating is the same thing, the give-and-take, all that, the rituals. I'm really tired of it.

I want to remember how it feels to do things just because I WANT to do them, not because I feel like I have to, it's something that's expected.

I keep expecting Barcelona to get me away from all this stuff, but then i thought of this Hemingway quote. In The Sun Also Rises, I forget who, but somebody tells Jake something like "You can't get away from yourself by moving from place to place. There's nothing to that." (I had to memorize this quote in 11th grade.) Is it me? Well, hopefully a new place will help me learn to be new too.

I think people underestimate the importance of setting.