What I'm Reading

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I'm reading it again because it's one of those books that is so intricate that you feel like you don't fully get it all the first time. And it's one of those books that is delicious--you feel full after you read, if that makes any sense.

“He dug so deeply into her sentiments that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her. Petra Cotes, for her part, loved him more and more as she felt his love increasing, and that was how in the ripeness of autumn she began to believe once more in the youthful superstition that poverty was the servitude of love. Both looked back then on the wild revelry, the gaudy wealth, and the unbridled fornication as an annoyance and they lamented that it had cost them so much of their lives to find the paradise of shared solitude. Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of living each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.”

I thought I had become a complacent feminist lately because nothing had really gotten me pissed off or argumentative in a while. Today I found out that's not the case. My mom and sisters and I ended up having a conversation about the value of sex, or "purity", rather. We talked about a lot of things (in the theoretical, of course), but one thing was whether having sex with multiple people somehow decreases its value in a future marriage. It's something to think about. I don't know where I stand on it. My mom said lots of married people regret the casual sex they had before getting married, but I wonder how many people wish they'd experienced more before settling down. You can't live your life wondering how you'll feel about your choices years and years later. It's complex and different for every person. I personally believe that sex with a partner you love will be better and more meaningful, but it can also be something fun and light with someone you don't love. And also that sex with someone you don't love, but who means something to you (as all human beings should) is a good thing as well. It's a means of connecting with someone. As for its "future value"--I don't know. I think that could be another sex-negative argument with no real truth.

I should have said that to my mom and my sisters, but I didn't. I was worried they'd judge me.