I'm not normally one to believe in a greater Plan or fate or destiny or soulmates or anything. But I can't ignore this feeling in my gut that there's a reason I'm in Memphis for the summer.

Obviously, there are a multitude of more predictable reasons. I'm about to leave this place that has felt more like home than anywhere I've ever lived. So of course I ache for a few more months, just to wrap things up. Spend time, waste time, try to figure out how it all ended up so complicated.

I've been having a lot of gut feelings of certainty. I don't know if it's extremely wishful thinking or if some part of me deeply knows what I'm meant to do and who I'm meant to be with. My mom always talks about bad things that happen--they're "part of a plan." All works out for good in the end. I don't see that though, so I don't believe it. I think I have big things in my future, but I don't believe it's predestined. I think that what I choose to do rests almost exclusively with me, though I may be verging on hubris by saying that.

Still, though. I can't ignore this feeling in my gut.