(That word looks like it's misspelled, but spellcheck tells me it's not.)
And I do wonder about this a lot...Why do we begin friendships and relationships if we know they aren't permanent? And is there even such thing as a person who will always be in your life? We grow out of people sometimes...and that makes losing them less painful. What we need from a person, and what we can give to a person, varies with the patterns of our lives, so the people who we need vary as well. It's a constant loss and gain. It's like, imagine when you were five years old, and the idea of ever leaving your family, going off to college, scared the shit out of you. I remember being sure that I would have to go to college somewhere in Little Rock so that I could stay with my mom. But you grow out of it, and you don't need your mom as much as you did at one time. This is how it works. These people might always be there, but in different ways, and maybe at a different proximity.
It's about having someone, here, now, I guess. That's the realization. It's worth it. Also the confidence that you can handle inevitable loss.
Perhaps not so much the loss, but the change? Is your mother any less your mother if she's no longer around you all the time?
ReplyDeleteI would say that those connections still exist, it's just that they seem altered or gone because of a change in perspective. The idea of permanence differs between material and immaterial. Sure, proximity, literal closeness can wax and wane, but what of emotional proximity? Can something that has truly had an effect someone's person ever really go away, or is it just integrated?
Physical permanence is egocentric and passive(maybe, that's a simplification?), something moves away, it fades. But, those things that develop out of an interaction are no longer just one's own perception. Since it's a synthesis, I think it can only be actively removed. So rather than it being an inevitability, maybe it's a matter of choice.
And I rambled, sorry.
Permanence does look misspelled when it's typed. Weird.