All My Mistakes

Woo hoo, life is good, I leave for Memphis tomorrow (for good) and I GOT A NEW GUITAR. It's beautiful, no joke. Gorgeous. It's a Mitchell. If it were a boy...we would be married.

Speaking of boys...I was watching Sex and the City last night (don't laugh), and it was all about patterns in dating, and, while I've always known my pattern, Catherine confirmed it for me last night: I am attracted to guys who are unavailable. "Unavailable" comes in many different varieties, so sometimes I think that just cause a guy is straight and doesn't have a girlfriend, then it means he's available. Oh no. There is also the emotionally unavailable guy, and the angsty, "in a bad place" guy as well, along with various and sundry others. Then again, they could be perfectly available, and making up excuses. Either way, it's depressing, I don't know if I can break the cycle. I listed to her all the guys I've liked who have been unavailable, all these guys from high school, college, it adds up, and it's started to wear me out.

So how do I get over this? I don't often find myself attracted to guys who are TOTALLY available, so what do I do? Just date the next decent one who shows interest, even if there is no chemistry whatsoever? Can't do it.

I hope it all works out in the end. I hope I don't have to settle.

Here's me putting my secrets and my life out on the internet. Probably a bad idea, but I'll admit the above pattern to anyone...and I'm sure it's already painfully obvious to those who know me well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDQc6SMNwgY
"But I can't go back, and I don't want to, cause all my mistakes, led me to you"