You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
-Herman Hesse

Today was one of those days that made me want to slam my head up against a wall in the hopes that either a) I'll go unconscious for a little bit, or b) it'll somehow shake up my heart as well and everything that doesn't need to be in there will tumble out. And create space.

I hate to be all mer mer whine I'm so complicated and fucked up, but I am definitely feeling that way right now. I've got some serious problems.

I'm feeling the need to sleep through the next month or so. Two months. I don't know what's on the other side, is the thing, so it might not even be any better. I can't concentrate. Fuck. Jeez, send me something along this way to get me through it all. There is so much pent up in me, it's starting to mess with my mind.

There's rain outside, I had to walk through campus in it. And I don't see anything clearing up any time soon. Eventually, I suppose it will all become too exhausting and I'll finally let go.