I don't know if I know how to pray anymore, of if I ever did know how to pray, but I'd really like to try. Or, rather, I'd like to listen and try to feel something out there. I don't think I'm going to get anywhere by talking. I do that all the time. I don't always listen to whatever's out there, though.

I think life would be more meaningful and more fulfilling if I felt God around me all the time. I think life would be less scary and I'd feel less alone. I think that the reason I've never really tried to pray before (despite going to mass for the overwhelming majority of my Sundays) is because I always thought that it should be easy, hearing and feeling God. I thought that by saying a prayer I'd memorized in kindergarten, I was praying. But I wasn't. Maybe I was "praying" in my own child way in kindergarten, but now that I'm older, I'm beginning to realize that the universe might require my more active participation. It gets harder as you get older, I've learned. I don't have any of this figured out, but I think I might be onto something--I don't think it's going to be easy to pray. I don't think I'm going to be able to feel God immediately the second I start praying. I think I'm going to have to be listening really intently, and I think I'm going to have to let go of some of my hangups.

"Our whole business therefore in this life is to restore the health of the eye of the heart whereby God may be seen."

-St. Augustine